I'm sitting here, thinking about how I'd love to be playing the game right now. How I like to battle in the corners, or brace myself against the boards to keep the puck from leaving the zone. I think about the game, and how I play it. I play it the way it should be played in my opinion. Some physical contact, lots of pressure, and with a ton of heart.
Then I think about the past few months. The injuries have come, and the heart is gone. I don't get excited to go to the rink, and I don't make the effort to go to open hockey to play anymore. I feel like a slug, and have done nothing away from the ice to keep in shape or improve over the past few months. I nearly vomited last week from working so hard - and that has never happened to me in my playing days.
But I look at the reasons I missed time and they're really not at the fault of hockey. My collapsed lungs didn't happen because of hockey. They never have, and probably never will. Mono or whatever I had didn't happen because of hockey. There's no reason to blame health as a reason to stop playing. I need to get motivated on my way to the rinks and get out there.
I would take a break, but other than work, I'd never leave the house. I considered skipping grocery shopping this weekend simply because I didn't want to be around people. I need to get back to my routine of being on ice 3 times a week and doing some off ice training.
In less than 5 hours, I'll be on the ice for a Goaldiggers game. I need to go back to how I was. Playing with a ton of heart. But what I also need to do is start using my skill. I've worked at carrying the puck in practice. I've worked on keeping my head up and my positioning away from the puck, and now it is time to start using this. I need to bring heart back to my game and play fired up, or else I'm useless to the team.